A Greyish Purple

An odd day, feel very bleh. Tired too. 
This grey scale weather is sapping me I think. Either that or it is accentuating what was already there. Feeling a bit 90s too, hence this tune below.
Kinda matches everything today really.

Keep that line steady!

So far so good, trundling along experiencing new things, trying to go to new things, meet people, new and old, living life and working at life as best I can, returning to whatever normal is. Though having had this mental illness for a few years normal for me is not feeling like I have to end it all.
So it has been going ok. Some work, some sport- new and old- getting back into fitness. It all made me feel like, yes, I have surpassed that illness at last. 
Silly.
I have had it since a teen, hitting me at various intervals both small and very big. So to think that was, as seems to be me, wildly optimistic, nah foolish. Still, you can't help it after such a dark period. But when you have a bad day it brings it all rushing back. I have had the odd bad day, a wobbly one as I have mentioned before and now I am trying hard to sort it with self-care. Going back to my usual promise routine. That being, if I have something to do of a day and it is a bad one tell myself if I get through it and do it by the end of it I can either purchase something I have been after, read in bed, or have some biscuits with a brew. Something like that. Nothing major, admittedly, but something to me. And so far, it has been working. It isn't a cure all but it smooths things over and gets me well, living I suppose. 
I still have major anxious moments and if really bad I will cancel but then I always did say 'yes' a bit too often to things and people so perhaps that isn't a bad thing. I do try to give notice unless I'm bad and then heck, we all get ill sometimes don't we?