He pushed back as much as he could but the water still flowed over him

Oh dear. What to do? Everything is going wrong. Plans are just falling through or apart and I can barely control the anxiety at the moment. A girl I was dating just decided to end it, despite it feeling like it was something. Uni has fallen through, jobs applied for likewise and my physical health is slipping. Bright spot is my running injury finally settling down. That aside I don't know what I am going to do. I have a job application being assessed this week and if that falls through, options are limited. and I will have to reassess Again. I know things are bad when I get that steady current of panic in my chest. It takes a day or so to settle and makes me apprehensive as it can, sometimes, lead to a big black incident. And well, that I don't want to go back to. The fear of going back to me then is a very scary prospect. But I do feel elements of it, in me. Perhaps I always will. Or I am just better at recognising it now.
I don't know what to do. I can neither offer advice or even suggest ways to deal with any of this aside from going back to what I know soothes me, music, games, reading.

There's No Escape

The above title I have probably used before. It's familiar to me and not due to it being inherently familiar to me due to its origin. It is something that plays in my mind when in stressful times. Lately it has been on my mind due to mental concerns. The usual depression and ocd concerns and the fact that it won't be going anywhere and is something I will need to reconcile myself with. Which has been difficult lately as due to it being at rest before rousing these past few weeks it forces me to face up to that fact. Another potential mental concern has arrived though. After watching a tv programme about it I am now wondering and trying to set up a referral test regarding autism. Admittedly it is easy to self diagnose based what you see and read, TV, Google etc but seeing what was explained and the people who displayed and spoke of behaviors, thoughts and actions that I take and have taken was quite a revelation and explained a lot about me. It explained a lot about how I feel, how I act and where when it comes to sensory inputs it can overwhelm me. Now, getting it diagnosed is something else. I experience enough waiting when really bad with the black so to go through similar and possibly even longer with this new concern on the block, not so keen. 
It has come in a year that, so far, has been a bit disappointing. Three big set backs regarding moving forward, two Uni course turn downs and a no for a job I interviewed for last year. Mild panic ensues as that old familiar of overthinking in the night and the inevitable broke and disturbed sleep follow. Elements that are all too familiar when the second great depression began. 
So I don't know what to do. Where to go now. My route map is not relevant now. And I don't know how to deal with that. From me and my mind set, at the moment, there is no escape.