Like misty breath on a chilly day. One second there and real and the next... gone.

And for that, near, half a second I thought that it had happened.

Dreams. Your own picture house of wants, needs, loves, hates and nightmares. Sometimes remembered, sometimes best forgotten. I had one this morning that revolved around my ex wife. It was nice. It was almost as if my mind had distilled the nice bits and goodness of that relationship and presented it to me in that dream. We were in a car together and for some reason I opened up to her and told her what I had been up to, what I had achieved since we had split, what had gone right, what had gone wrong, how I had been in that time. And she listened, we held hands and I wasn't angry or bitter or resentful towards her I just wanted to let her know what I had done and how I had been, the good and the bad. 
When I awoke it was almost real and then the realisation hit and I was left... confused. 
I think mostly I was saddened that it hadn't happened. I think it stems from when we met, sort of met, back in December last year during a reunion for a military thing we were both at. I had spent a lot of time wondering what would happens, all the what ifs and after all that not very much happened at all. I am sure part of me wanted to catch up with her see if any part of her was proud of what I had achieved but realistically it wasn't going to happen. And so I'm left with....this. This surface feeling. Thankfully they aren't as prevalent as once they were, those sorts of dreams. They used to leave me very discombobulated. Now, they just leave me feeling distinctly... meh. 
Yesterday was a good day; today? Not so much. I'd knock on the head and hit the sack if I didn't have things to do and if I thought I would actually sleep.
Big sigh.

I can time travel. To the same day and relive the same experience.

It didn't come at the best time. But then does it ever? Bad news. 
Two bits of bad news, well, three, two jobs, one university. Chances to progress, kick on and move forward but no. No go. I was starting to feel a bit grey as the sun goes away for Autumn and Winter and the darkness began to creep in. But these set backs have really booted me one. I'm trying hard not to bin everything off that I have set up. I have one thing today, just not feeling up to do it at all, hoping that the rest will help some. Especially as I have the half marathon at the weekend. I am also feeling bad, achey, tired which are bad signs indeed. Those signs point towards danger. What to do? Rest and hope for the best as I utilise my wellness tricks to either soothe or distract? 
Or...no. I cannot, I won't. It's too easy to panic and jettison everything. And one it is in my mind it is difficult to dislodge. The calmness will be nice but the guilt and hammering of myself will soon offset all of that.

An oldie but a goldie for more than just the fab tune. 
I just need to take their advice. It used to work for me.