This year has be the first in a long time where it has been consistently stable, stable in a good mental health way. There have been the odd little blips but mostly a nice stable line of balance. Knowing the difference between circumstantial and inner black and blues helps too. Is the issue just it or is it due to something going on or going wrong? A deeper worry that is manifesting itself, that kind of thing. Also, since finding out about this whole SPD issue I am learning about what is potentially causing the big depressive breakdowns. A little bit of knowledge is good but it doesn't it make it any easier. So, now it is a case of me trying to work my round around and through this fairly new development and trying to not let the fear of another episode stop me. When I heard about Keith Flint and his passing it saddened me but it also made me fearful of my next episode. It weaken you each time because you know what you turn into what you become and the thought of going through it again and again well, it certainly forces you to stop and think, truly think about whether you can or even want to carry on. So far though, it's ok and compared to how I was over 7 years ago that is something of an achievement for me.
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