CBT, yeh you know me!

So, been a while then yeh?

As Xmas approached I knew it would be a difficult time. Using a war-like metaphor, it would be an offensive that would be hard to repel. And sure enough it was.

I mentioned this on my Friendface account, how I’d like to miss xmas this year, like it says in that song? and was immediately rebuked for my un-Xmas attitude. Talk of, wallowing in self-pity, count yourself lucky you aren’t homeless, etc etc. Just what you need really.

M, you may recall her from a previous entry, where I’d been treated a bit rubbish by in the break up?  I ended up briefly in her bed just before Xmas, nothing rude just holding and cuddling which was wonderful and boosted me over Xmas.

It didn’t last. M barely spoke to me after that and a pressie I’d gotten for her, ‘Imported Pop Tart smores’ no less! She sowed about as much interest in receiving them as I would in receiving a flipping massive tax invoice. So they wait in my bag, uneaten. Ok, two packets of them uneaten. The other two, I did yum up. Better that than got to waste eh?

New Year’s was close to being a re-run of last year but a funny thing happened.  I was at a social gathering and sat alone I thought over the year, the break up, break down and everything else and started to feel as though I was sinking. Someone then came up to me and asked if I was ok and it snapped me out of it and I was up and dancing. Funny eh?

I also began CBT in Jan too and just finished it the other week. It was informative and interesting. The group itself wasn’t hugely open and barely chatty which I thought was a shame but I suppose is to be expected. For some reason I was expecting a big happy gathering where we’d all share our black experiences, have a laugh, maybe a cry and then sort out a weekly tea/coffee meeting at a local café where we’d share our continuing adventures in depression and whatever else mental condition we had. And during these meetings I’d meet a girl who was shy, but sweet into me and we’d help each other with our ‘issues’. No. None of that. We did get some chocolates at the end though and lot of homework and paperwork too. It did help a bit but I think it was the social side more than anything.

Still they did share some useful tools to implement when things get bad. Hopefully I can try and use them if and when they do.