Now, as an adult, I find the dark comforting. It's a place I can hide away in when the lights go out. In the dark I feel safe, covered, hidden in the shadows away from everyone and sometimes even away from myself. When I'm having one of those days of black I have to shut everything away, the shutters come down, literally and figuratively and the light goes out. It could be blazing sun outside, warm with beautiful blue skies but inside it's dark, shady with only music for company and the light hue of my laptop the only illumination.
'Go to sleep, everything is alright'
When I get to bed too that provides me with some respite. I'll either plug in to some tunes or leave the TV on, because although I want to be enshrouded in darkness I sometimes get overwhelmed by loneliness so having the TV on can sometimes give me some audio company.
Whether it's day or night when I'm having a day like today the dark is my friend.
How things change when you reach adulthood. From scary to comforting. Conversely, when I think of even attempting to get into that great comfort of relationships, I get scared.
What was comforting is now so scary.
Everything will be ok once I turn the lights out.