Wednesday, 13 January 2016

The Return

Time off of meds, time and distance from the black after 3 and a half years and living and working in another country. In that time away I had 1 maybe 2 low points that were more to do with the former wife, another dream about her, and time spent in a house with 5 other blokes. I got to enjoy a different culture, way of living, way of driving(?!) and how coaching is viewed by some over there.
I also learned, mostly through the living with 5 others, that I have changed since my black. In as much as my tolerance for people giving me crap, or as some call it 'banter', has dropped considerably. I don't mind receiving as long as they can take the return. That they could not became apparent quite quickly and so the situation became quite stressful and miserable at times living with a virtual bully.
I won't be returning to the organisation that I worked for which is probably just as well as I wouldn't have lasted long with that person in the house. However it does mean that I won't be able to return to my teams or the players and parents I had started to form relationships with and whose company and learning I was starting to enjoy help move along.
My experience, for the most part, was wonderful for a variety of reasons. Not least because it felt as though I was finally clear of the second great depression which had stuck around for a long time. The fear of it returning is something I will have to try and live with but for now I am doing ok.

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