Got me Wrong

And make it I did. What made it harder was the cold that had crept in suddenly making me a bit more crapper than usual. But I got through it and afterwards I pretty much stayed in bed for the next five days or so. The odd video game, TV and movie catch up. I also went out on a Friday night and met up with a nice young lass who was cute, sweet and likes pretty much the same stuff I like. After a nice brew we went to a pub with a top jukebox, always important I find, and after some pear ciders and some flirty chatter some nice necking followed. All good but, me being me and not being able to stop the noggin’ from cogitating at its usual hyper speed, I couldn't help but think how the idea of a relationship is just anathema to me right now. With regards to my former, her, I feel like that sort of giving and commitment is something I can’t do even at a smaller level.  Will that change? Maybe, then again maybe not. To be honest if it doesn't it is a thought that has no real effect on me, it makes me feel neither sad nor happy, a sign of my complete numbness at the moment perhaps?

The more I look back the more I wonder what was the point? All that, in sickness and in health, better or worse, etc etc’ Does anyone really take any notice of it? Or is  it the sort of blurb that gets the same sort of glassy eyed response mentally that the agreements and blurbs for various downloads and contacts get when you rush through them to get to the signing your name and downloading here gets?  If push comes to divorce, does anyone really take those words to heart? Did I? Or since the divorce am I only now giving a monkey’s?

Lately my dreams about her have been kinda odd. It’s almost like she’s a versatile actor playing any role my mind can conjure. The latest was her in the role of a Mad Max type outland boss who had control of a small town and its supermarket. Very odd, even more so with her singing while everyone was told to be silent. Thing is, I was the one who tried to end her reign. Hmmm, no idea what it signifies or represents though. Maybe an obsession with Mad Max?