Much has happened since the last big entry.
I, again, tried to get admitted, not such luck. In fact when I went to hospital and admitted to feelings of suicide I was placed in a room and left to wait. Six hours and I got to see the ward Psych for about an hour in that time. This led to more calls from the intense mental squad and another appointment with the Doc. During this time I had another big kick off where I just lost it and again, this led to another Doc’s appointment. This time with another Dr, an increase in my med dosage and some contact details for other ways to alleviate this black.
I think in having another Dr, my main one is fine but has been the family one for years, again, also fine but I guess another point of view helped here. Now I have appointments waiting for me. The Incredible Hulk like period as I went from one lot of meds to another and that week of nothing was awful. I was dizzy, touchy and flew into a rage over anything no matter how small. At the moment all is calm. The higher dose of meds seem to be calming me and keeping the black at bay. For the past month I’ve been busy, working an early doors cleaning job-awful, rubbish supervisor and a work force that rarely showed up, and my other apart time work which I got back to after three months away.
I have also, I think, after much to-ing and fro-ing of correspondence, been accepted onto a degree foundation course in football coaching. Huzzah to that and a half time orange for all of us!
So, right now, things are ok. Being busy has kept it away, in the background. I fear its return but not all the time.
Oh, and I’m now 40.