Sunday 19 January 2014

A Life Hangover

Every time I awaken after a dream about her it always leaves me feeling fuzzy, out of place, as if I'm in a life that I shouldn't be. It's almost akin to being hungover as it always makes me feel slightly dizzy and a bit off.
The dreams are starting to repeat themselves too. Me and her together after our time apart, things and lives back to how they were with all that awkward divorce, ill-feeling and my illness completely out of the frame entirely. When I wake up to reality though and those early nano-seconds of, that was real, no, was it real? Oh, no it wasn't real, moments of sleepyness fade away I feel like crap. It's almost as if the dream, the dream that perhaps deep down I'd really like to have, has taken it's toll and the payment for that is the crappy feeling I get when it's all over.
Either way though it leaves an impression on me throughout that day and one that it hard to shake. My getting over this divorce is going to take a lot longer than I thought it was and my poor attempt to get back into that world of, 'dating' (I hate that word it's so very 'Friends' and sitcommy) it probably best left alone.
Funny how a small thing like a night time head movie can mess up your day, eh?

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