Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Maybe tomorrow

Rocky 3. 
A great movie and one which I sometimes watch when nervous about some upcoming event or other. In the film, there’s one moment which resonates at the moment. 
In it, Rocky is struggling with the faster pace of training and is clearly flashing back to the battering Clubber gave him when sparring with Apollo. He stops and tells Apollo, ‘Tomorrow, tomorrow.’ 
Apollo responds with, ‘There is no tomorrow Rock, there is no tomorrow!’
These last few weeks have had me leaving everything until tomorrow, that golden dawn of hope and fulfillment where all will be fine and where I’ll be stronger, energetic, ready for the gym, ready for a run and free from this burden of black.
Tomorrow.  There’s been a lot of tomorrows. Almost three weeks later of them. Tomorrow still isn't here. It’s something I’m chasing and which seems always just out of grasp and I suppose it always will as the tomorrow I want will never come.
This week I’ve put off my coaching sessions, sessions that I help out with more than actual coaching, as I’ve either been asleep or just couldn't bear to face anyone outside of the house. Every-time I think to myself, ‘Tomorrow and it’ll all be fine. I’ll hit the gym, feel good and boom! Be ready for whatever I have to face.’
Not so far.

Still, there’s always tomorrow.

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