2 steps forward...

...and then a s%$!-load back.
Lack of sleep left me dazed and confused today. Not a big problem as I've done no sleep before. But my appointment today led to me to my old marriage living type area, which was nice on the one hand but odd on the other. I now know the true meaning of ghosts. More on the lack of appointment later but as I travelled around my old shopping spots and walking areas and the house memories and experiences came filtering in. An argument for no apparent reason near the supermarket, her quest to find the ladies quickly! a tour around the new big supermarket that was bigger than the one we used to shop in, splitting up to tackle each aisle and get the shop done more efficiently. I always enjoyed shopping with my former. She saw it as mundane but I saw it as a little trip seeing what we both liked, deciding on  foods and household implements. I would always catch her by the pick'n mix, filling a bag and looking at me with a guilty face. Odd memories but happy ones.
I met up with an old friend instead and told her at times I find it difficult to comprehend how I got here. It's like I'm playing snakes and ladders for real. One minute happy with new life and wife and the next I've gone back seven odd years to now. No wonder I feel so dizzy and out of it sometimes. Mind you, that could be the anti-d's.
So yes, the appointment. I got lost, couldn't find the venue, was late and decided instead of facing the shame of being late, sacked it with an excuse. Those who have read Hyperbole and a Half will get this next bit. I felt emotionless about doing it. Usually I'd stress and think it over and over pushing myself to scrap it and then when I had punishing myself for it. This time, I wasn't bothered. It's not like I'd have been missed anyway so nuts to it. This was my six horror movies and multiple packs of sweeties moment in the video store.
What came out of it all? A nice chat with an old friend, a shop for old times sake, some coffee and an odd weird dreaming sleep when I got home. 
Oh, and a call from a tea shop saying my custom made tea-cosy was in for collection.