I try to walk in a straight line

I had the oddest and not the nicest dream ever last night. It involved Steven Gerrard (not a fan of him or his team) and my wife, not like that you filthy dogs! Anyhow, for some reason I was wearing a t-shirt with his face on it to a dinner that he was attending and wearing a suit jacket over it, odd. Even odder was my Aunty suddenly appearing and telling me after I took my jacket off how silly it was of me to wear it when she knew I wasn't a fan. Anyway, Gerrard was ok with me and then cool with me. During all of this my former made an appearance and she sort of spoke to me and I spoke back saying, oh so you're talking to me then?
After that, I can't recall what I said but I know by the tone and the result I wasn't nice to her. I think my brain threw all of the subconscious thoughts and feelings I had/have in the form of questions at her which resulted in her leaving in floods of tears. not long after that, she died! And then I nearly did when Gerrard tried to kill me in  a mobile scooter accident we were both in. Blimey O!
I awoke feeling very odd indeed and a bit sad too. I never did like seeing her cry or sad though it seemed to happen during our time together. That is the one face of hers that my  mind keeps conjuring up too, her being in pain or crying. It pops up now and again as if to torture me somehow. Hmm.
The song with the link below featured in my dream and I think kick started it as I listened to it before bed, well, before bed at half 2 in the am. It was one of her favs and one we sang along to when we saw them last year. Played it today and heard it on the radio this evening. Seemed kind apt.
My mum asked if I believed it could happen and I said, no but that wasn't the point. It was the feeling it left behind this morning. 
Why does my mind seemingly hate me?
Feeling tired which is good as I'm up early tomorrow for an appointment.
We shall see if I sleep or it's another all nighter.

I wish I had a bottle